🔗 Share this article

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?